Kaylin's head was spinning, and she was breathing hard. "This can't be happening. Seriously, Nick doesn't do coke. This is ridiculous." She was talking more to herself than to Stephen whose hands gripped the wheel as he sped up. "Stephen, you've got to be kidding me."
He rolled his head to look at her and gave her a look that made her know he was dead serious. "Kay, you honestly think he doesn't do coke? Really?" he had a doubting tone to his voice. Nick liked to have a good time, and although Stephen had never seen Nick put the straw to his nose, he could definitely picture him doing it. Kaylin was staring out the windshield blankly, her mind too full to process everything it needed to take in; it was like staring into a deep lake and trying to see to the bottom but the motion of the waves, the darkness of the water, the need to blink kept preventing it.
"What do we do now?" was all she could manage to say. Stephen pulled his battered car into her drive and turned to look at her. Her hands were clenching and unclenching the blue fabric of her book bag, her long hair was wind-blown in front of her face, but she didn't bother to brush it away.
"I'm not sure," Stephen began, "but I told him I would get you. Let's go inside and I'll make some calls, see if I can find out anything, OK?" He started to get out the door.
"You're coming in my house?" Kaylin said, slamming the car door, she couldn't remember the last time Stephen Rizzman had been in her house. It must have been when her mother was still alive, because she remembered that she got in trouble for having Alicia and her brother over without asking first. Her mother was known to lock herself in her bedroom for hours, sometimes days, on end.
"Is that OK?" Stephen stopped in his walk to the door.
"Yeah, sure. I just, well," Kaylin smiled in spite of herself, "I was just thinking it's been awhile." Stephen smiled too. Kaylin was just another one of his sisters, she spent the night so much at his house that sometimes he forgot she had another home.
They went inside, and judging from the quiet, no one was home. There was a note on the pad of paper Seanahair kept on the end table next to his armchair that said he had gone to confession and then was going to the VFW for a dinner. Stephen put his book bag on the floor by the door and covered it with his jacket before finding Kaylin in the living room reading the note.
"Everything all right?" he asked, fishing his beeper out of his jeans and checking the display.
"Yeah, my grandfather is gone and my dad's still at work," Kaylin said, setting the paper down. "I'm going upstairs to change, I'll be right back."
"No problem, can I use the phone?" Stephen asked reaching for the cordless. Kaylin nodded her head and dashed up the stairs.
Before she had even entered the doorway, she saw the red light on her machine blinking away. Her small room was dark, and the phone and little machine sat on a small table by her bed. She rushed in and pressed the play button.
"Kay, babe," it was Nick, "I'm OK, don't worry. I'll get this take care of. Please don't be upset, please don't be mad at me. I love you. I'll call you again when I can. Oh my God, Kay, I love you, please don't be mad. OK, I love you, bye." Kaylin was kneeling by the table, holding the answering machine like it was Nick himself.
"STEPHEN!!! STEVE!!!" Kaylin hollered over her shoulder before she heard the next beep.
"Hello, this message is for Kaylin McSandsen. This is Corporal Jordan of the Greenbrier County Sheriff's department. I'm going to need you to stop by the police station when you get this message. If you need a ride, or can't come tonight give me a call back at" the message cut off. Kay shifted around, and sat on her legs; Stephen standing in her doorway, he had heard the whole thing.
"What should I do?" Kay's eyes welled with tears as she looked to Stephen for an answer. Her chin started to shake as she tried to hold back crying. It was all too much.
"C'mere, girl," Stephen went over to her and pulled her up and into his arms for a hug. "It's going to be OK. Listen, we need to head over there though. I called Alicia and she said that that Jordan guy called over there looking for you, too. C'mon," he started to walk with her to the hall. By the time they had walked down the stairs and were in the foyer, Kaylin had gathered herself together, and had pulled away from Stephen's encouraging arm. She looked at herself in the mirror, and wiped a hand across her face to remove the tear streaks.
"Let's go," she said, turning to the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The drive to the county sheriff's department was a long one, but Stephen made quick work of it. Kaylin spent the ride letting her eyes drift over the blur of scenery as it passed. Her mind was taking in the reality of what had happened. She loved Nick with everything that she was. Never in her life had anyone treated her like she was something important, something other than ordinary. Her mother's love and affection was the moon: waxing and waning regularly, and her father was sun: distant and harsh, and able to burn if you didn't protect yourself. Seanahair had tried, God love him, in his own way to let her know he cared, but he was older, and his ideas of parental love came from a world that she would only read about.
But Nick, this gorgeous boy that the fates had put in her life; Nick spent everyday telling her how much he loved her, how he adored her. He was the bright light that she clung to in the darkness that was her world. Without ever asking for anything, he settled in her life like a fixture that was and always would be there. He helped her on seanahair's bad days, he brought her to parties where only the beautiful people went and made sure she saw that his eyes never left her. He would wait outside her window if he heard her father screaming while they were on the phone.
Her mind went to the nights they spent together, entwined in each other's embrace. There were nights he would lay beside her, content to just hold her in his arms rather than feel her under him. But of course she had given herself to him, and that first time without having to be told, his touch was gentle and caressing, his movements slow and paced. Every time since he acted like he had never seen her naked before, and was astonished at the beauty of every inch of her. His soft murmurings after made her relax into a peaceful bliss that she never knew existed. Remembering those private times was like embracing herself in Nick now that she felt alone and scared.
Stephen slowed the car down as they approached the stretch of highway that would lead them to the sheriff's department. "Kay," he said measuring his words, "if they tell you it's true, that he did have coke on him," he looked over to her, she hadn't shifted her gaze from the window and, except for her close proximity, he wasn't even sure she was hearing him, "if it's true they probably want to question you and what you knew about it. I'm not going to tell you to lie, Kay, but you need to be prepared for whatever they might ask you, you know? Remember, don't believe anything they tell you, it's like on TV, they'll say anything to get you to talk." He looked over to her again, she had bit her bottom lip and looked down, tears spilling from her eyes. "You understand what I'm sayin' right?" He reached over and put his hand on her knee, shaking it a bit. She nodded, and wiped her eyes again.
"I have no idea what's about to happen," Stephen mumbled, the feelings of someone he cared for hurting and not being able to help her rattled him. Stephen Rizzman had known Kaylin since she was a toddler running around his living room with Alicia while his mother looked on. She was as much a sister to him as his blood kin, and now he was more worried about the way she was acting than whatever trouble Nick was in. Kaylin McSandsen was always level headed and calm, but the girl who sat beside him now was a barely a shadow of that; she was shaking and crying, and there was panic in her voice.
They both stepped out of the now parked car, and Kaylin paused gathering her thoughts, looking at the squat brick building and readying herself for whatever was about to happen. The wind had a chill that warned of frost that night, and a feeling of loss tied itself to her stomach again.
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