Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Chapter Six

The night wind whipped about his face as he rang the doorbell for the small, duplex of the address Kaylin had written on the dollar bill. In less than a minute she swung open the door to reveal herself surrounded by a dim, warm glow from further in the house. Her curvy, petite figure was sheathed in a strapless blue dress, the material of a tee shirt. The dress came to the floor; her hair was down and held away from her face with a strip of black elastic. Although it is the middle of November, her skin is sun-kissed. Her look was elegant because of its simplicity, and the material of the dress clung to the curve of her body making her look stunning.

Ryan was awe-struck and felt suddenly underdressed in his Abercrombie outfit, but her smile pushed any thought away and he got a warm feeling beginning in his abdomen that surged through his torso, making him bold enough to step forward and before she ccould an say anything, in one swift motion he put his hand on the small of her back and leaned his head in to kiss her. She brought her hand up to cup his face, returning the kiss and leaning her body into his. He could feel her smile as she begins to pull away.

“And here I thought I’d have to wait until the end of the date,’” Kaylin chided but she didn't move any further than to lean her head back to look into his eyes.

“You look amazing. I thought we were just going to karaoke.”

“Ah,” she pulled away from him to pick up a small, silver clutch on the table by the door, “not just karaoke, we’re going to Gay-Re-Oke!! It’s an entirely different world!!” She took his hand and started for the door, grabbing a silver, faux-leather jacket on her way.

2 comments:

Sorshanik said...

I haven't commented on the previous 5 chapters because I wanted it to sink in and get to know the characters and storyline a bit more. And I have to say I like it thus far. It's interesting and engaging.

So here's the two things I noticed thus far: 1st, Kaylin bites her lip a lot. I mean A LOT. Not sure if I find it annoying or cute yet. 2nd, the first sentence to Chapter 6: ...he "depressed" the doorbell... I don't know. I understand the statment but it seems out of place in this story. ...he "rang" the doorbell... it flows with the casual nature of this character, Ryan.

7Cyns said...

Agreed. I changed the doorbell thing, and went back and noticed how many times I used the 'biting her lip' thing. I guess I do it myself too much :-)